What To Do If Your Partner Is Verbally Violent

The more connected you are to someone, the more their words will affect you. It is so much that at times certain expressions or comments can hurt one. In addition, many people complain that their partner is verbally violent and does not respect them. Many feel trapped because they do not know what to do.

How to act in such situations? First, it is important not to allow this kind of dynamic to become a habit. One must not ignore the fact that aggressive or violent communication is a form of abuse. The consequence of months (or years) of frequent insults or harassment has a number of psychological effects.

The evolution of abuse

On the other hand  , the behavior, which consists of the use of harmful or aggressive words, may gradually emerge in the relationship. It is common for these words to be considered jokes, sarcastic comments or sharp sentences, which are camouflaged with irony to begin with. They are usually accompanied by laughter and an “I’m just kidding, honey”.

However, this behavior becomes more common over time, destroying the person’s self-image until the words become blows in their self-esteem and dignity.

My partner is verbally violent: the abuse that you are not willing to admit

You will need to keep in mind something very important: In a relationship, love is not enough. This is because some types of love hurt and some people love wrong.

Good communication is actually essential to enjoy a satisfying, happy and long lasting relationship. Being able to reach agreement and get an emotional connection is in many cases the key to success.

Since some people do not always know how to find the right person,  we advise you to pay attention to who deserves your time, effort and love, and who does not. For example, some people are not fully aware that contempt is a form of abuse.

In addition, others do not want to accept that their partner is verbally violent, which means they are most likely in a violent relationship. Below you can read about several character traits.

What are the signs of verbal abuse?

As scientific studies such as the one conducted at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland, USA, revealed that between 50 and 80% of people have been victims of emotional abuse. Verbal abuse and being talked down to are recurring traits. Verbal abuse manifests itself with the following signs:

• Your partner makes fun of you.
• They judge you without really understanding you.
• Your partner responds with insults and aggression.
• Any conversation you have with them ends up as an argument and shouting.
• Your partner uses harmful irony and sarcasm. They do not think about it until they make fun of you in front of others.
• Your partner does not communicate in an empathetic way.
• They make you feel ashamed.
• Their method of communication seeks to dominate and undermine you.

What to do if your partner is verbally violent

Research such as this from the Department of Psychology of the University of Georgia in the United States  showed that good communication guarantees satisfaction in relationships. As we mentioned above, in addition to love and good communication, one also needs to be aware of other factors such as the emotional ones.

If your partner is verbally violent, then it is essential not to let them get away with it. You will also need to connect with your self-esteem and emotional balance. Abuse will eventually only lead to pain, discomfort and unhappiness. How should one act in these situations?

What is behind the verbal abuse?

It is a good idea to discover what makes one’s partner communicate in this inappropriate way. Are they going through a hard time? Do they not know how to deal with anxiety and stress?

Sometimes  factors such as problems at work or unresolved personal trauma lie behind this aggression. It is important to know what is behind this behavior. Sometimes, though, it’s not because of a specific situation or feeling. Your partner may have a personality that is accustomed to this behavior.

Confident attitude: What you allow and what you do not allow

When your partner is verbally violent, you can not just sweep it under the rug. If you do not respond to it and act on it, the abuse will continue and even get worse. You therefore need to be confident and very clear about things.

You need to indicate exactly what words, phrases, comments and conversations hurt you. Ask your partner not to behave like that again. You should also give them examples of what you expect: respect, understanding, empathy, participation, being heard and being able to reach agreement.

Make a decision if your partner is verbally abusive

Hard words hurt as much as blows or wounds. Aggressive communication is psychological abuse. One can and should therefore not tolerate it. Therefore, if your partner does not change their attitude and continues to be verbally violent, then one has to make a decision.

If you break up with them, you will protect your self-esteem and dignity. One must not tolerate what cannot be tolerated. True love does not hurt, and it communicates with respect through a healthy emotional connection. Keep that in mind!