Live With A Partner With Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) makes life difficult for many couples.

But it is not impossible to keep the relationship straight. You just have to have certain aspects in mind for the relationship to be healthy and unfold in the best way.

You can help your partner with BPD without changing them.

This disease should be monitored by a professional. With this help, you can hope for improvements.

However, it is necessary to know that this is a lifelong disease. There will be relapses, but there will also be moments when you barely know it exists.

But the disease will always be there.

Typical behavior for a couple with Borderline Personality Disorder

We will start with the most common behavior patterns for couples where one suffers from BPD.

People with borderline often hurt their loved ones. It is a vicious circle that worsens the symptoms.

Remember that you are talking about people with great emotional instability and a very polarized thought process. As a result, you need to be especially careful about how you treat them.

There are many ways couples try to deal with this problem:

• Some are ready to break up with their borderline partner when they are not happy. Sometimes they threaten to turn up, but quickly change their mind. This increases the emotional instability of a person with BPD.
• Some ignore the behavior they think is unacceptable. This is a bad tactic as it only encourages more behavior patterns in their borderline partner.
• Some let themselves be controlled by their PBD partner. They feel guilty if things do not get better. They may think it’s their own fault.

• Some choose to be silent. They do not talk about the problem with their partner. This includes hiding their daily actions from family and friends. That way, they keep the person with PBD from knowing what’s going on.
• Before problems or crises, some remember that the other person loves them deeply. They know that the difficulties arise because their partner is not responsible for their actions.

Unfortunately, the majority of these approaches are wrong. In some cases, you are participating in the issue. In others, you justify their actions and say nothing. As a result, their actions will not change.

Be like a mirror, not a sponge

It’s easy to get overwhelmed by Borderline Personality Disorder. This is especially true if you have any of the above behaviors.

We want to protect our partner. However, this is not the best way to do it. Living with someone who has borderline personality disorder is very difficult. You need to pay attention to how you act towards them.

Your goal is to help them reduce the symptoms so they do not continue.

To do this, it is necessary that you are true to your beliefs and values. If you think what they are doing is wrong, then tell them.

It is wrong to justify their behavior. As a couple, it is important to establish a boundary that you do not want to cross, take things as they come.

Communicate clearly that you are not capable of supporting certain patterns of behavior and be true to this. If you are weak, everything will go wrong.

Threats do not work

It is necessary to talk about the problem. This allows the person with Borderline Personality Disorder to know where you stand and together you can come up with a solution.

But sometimes they can annoy us and we start to resort to easy threats. This must never happen. You want to make the situation worse. Plus, you will increase their emotional instability.

Learn to say “no”. Learn to say how you feel. Most importantly, never feel that you are responsible for your partner’s BPD behavior.

If you stop trying to treat the other person as a fragile person who needs that protection, everything will start to go more smoothly.

Continue to be you. Be wary of negative behaviors such as lies, deception or lack of trust in the person with BPD. Keep in mind that their thought process is polarized. Their emotions are sometimes out of their control.

Trade according to your principles. Establish boundaries and do not let yourself be influenced by this external disease. This will ensure balance in the relationship.

It’s going to be hard. It is a path full of stones and holes.

But if you are willing to be with this person, it will be worth it all.